hmm...not much to report right now, but busy times abound, and wonderful things are happening.

Still sitting on the fence about the MPH. It is nice to know I'm in a position to choose, though. It seems that either way I'm probably making a good choice. I'm about 75-25 leaning towards going. I still have to sort out the finances, then I'll be in a position to make a decision. I still have about 20 days to choose.

I absolutely hate CTU. Right now, I honestly feel that the service is so busy (34 patients...on a service that is supposed to max out at 20), that little teaching is being done, and everything I do is just a big charade. Plus, my anxiety just runs rampant everytime I think about it. I hate that I'm on call Monday, just rubbing in the fact that I was on holidays.

And, well, I'm busy as ever with the extra curriculars. I do have to admit, it's fun being the president of a non-profit organization. It's especially fun when it's for a cause I love. I just hope I do the job justice.

The Dilemma.

So, as the last post suggests, I have a bit to think about. As I approach the 6-month mark of clerkship, with 14 months to go before the end of Medical School, I have to decide whether I want to extend that experience by a year.

MD 2007: It would be nice to get finished, and get into residency. I mean, I don't exactly know what I want to do, but maybe I don't need a superfluous degree. Also, I do like money, and not selling my condo. On the other hand, I don't want to miss an excellent opportunity.

MD/MPH 2008: This would be awesome. First of all, it's exciting to have a degree from Harvard, and an MPH is a good degree to have, especially if I want to teach. And, well, I don't know what kind of doctor I want to be yet, so maybe I need the extra time. On the other hand, it's a lot of money. I may need to sell my place, and borrow from my folks. Plus, I hate the other class, so do I want to graduate with them and be a year behind my peers?

Lots to think about.

I got accepted to The Harvard School of Public Health MPH program!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!

I feel like I'm always starting these posts with "I haven't posted in forever". Maybe it's because blogging is sort of like going to the gym. It seems so good at first, then you slowly realise you're not making a difference, so you give up.

Anyways, some exciting things are happening in my life, unfortunately all work-related (well, school-related). I'm nearing the half-way point of clerkship, now having completed Surgery, Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and Paediatrics. I have to say, I love kids. But I also love women's health, and I think it's fundamentally important that women's health is included in my practice, so it's a lot to think about right now. I feel that I would be an excellent Gynaecologist if given the opportunity.

Still have yet to hear from Harvard. Some may know I applied to the Masters of Public Health program there. It's a 9-month program (at $60 K CAD), and it's a degree I would love to have. It seems like all the intelligent activist physicians have an MD, MPH. It would make a career in women's care easier, I think.

And, the countdown is on. Two weeks until I take over as President of my most cherished organization. I love that I'm a part of the choice movement, and I love that I am living the best possible medical school experience that I could imagine. I am keeping up with school, I am heavily involved in a cause I believe in that lets me travel across North America, I have a loving partner who supports me, and every morning that I get up, I get to give the Radical Right the fucking finger.

Life is good.

Now, if only I can lose those 30 pesky pounds, I'd be all set!

I promise to post soon!

Yikes, haven't posted in a couple of weeks. That's okay, though, because no one actually reads this blog.

So the last two weeks, I was in the ER. The ER is a fun place because every patient is new, you get lab results quickly, and sometimes, you make a difference. Plus, as a surgeon-wannabe, I like that it's the most exciting part of medicine, before you refer off and they deal with the patient for about 4 weeks. A couple of good cases - a few that definitely made me appreciate my life thus-far. The highlight of the two weeks was taking a patient from start to finish: it was the first time that I truly "managed" the patient. Made a diagnosis, did the appropriate exams and lab work, then made the referrals. It's a big step, I think. Usually, when we deal with patients, it's a lot of collaborative work with the resident or doctor, and now I felt like I actually did something.

Alas, most of the rest of the time was useless as titties on a nun (to paraphrase a wonderful line). You spend at least as much time trying to FIND a doctor to listen to you as you do with the patients. So that was really a waste of two weeks. On the plus side, the time in between included a trip to Atlanta for business - fun!

Today is the start of Thoracic Surgery - the lung and it's tributaries. It's also the last rotation I have in surgery. Today, also, is the big surgery written exam. I have to say, in 10 weeks, I feel that I've learned SO much, and I'm definitely starting to affirm my appreciation for medicine, and what I want to do. And, once this rotation is done (and I sense that these two weeks will indeed fly by), I will be done one quarter of my clerkship, AND will be on to OB, so I'm very excited.

Anyhoo, other than that, nothing too exciting. Will post more soon.

Onwards and upwards.

So it turns out that Urology isn't that bad. Okay, I think it helps that someone paid me a compliment. In clerkship, those can be hard to come by. Each day, we go to the hospital, often without any understanding of the plans for that day. We round on patients, then we let the rest of the team delegate tasks. For me, that usually means going to clinic so that the keen students can go to the OR. But, I think that it helps to show some persistence. If you can show that you don't mind doing the shit work, and still want to learn stuff about the specialty at the end of the day, sometimes, people notice.

Anyways, the compliment that I was paid was that, apparently, I'm such a surgeon. A few months ago, that would have been offensive to me. Now I think it's such a nice thing to hear. I like that surgeons see a very tangible problem, and have a practical solution. None of this "I'm going to give you 80 medications that will mildly prolong your life without improving its quality". Okay, an exaggeration, but still.

Not to blow my horn. There are definitely times when I'm dumb as a douche-bag (and, given that douching is bad, that's pretty dumb). I'm also certain that this surgery exam will be very stressful. Thankfully, I have an opportunity to get away this weekend, even if it is for work. Hopefully I can take 4 hours with my digital camera and take some nice shots, and just get lost, and do something for me. Hmm...that reminds me - I have a spa coupon I have to use. Hooray for evening shifts next week!

Anyways, on to the Emergency Department this week. I do enjoy it, and I think it's cool, but it's not for me. I think, though, if I did Family Medicine, I would seriously consider doing the additional training to work ER shifts in the right centre. If nothing else, it's an excellent income supplement, and the hours are fair. On the other hand, it's still means something when I'm in emerg and I'm talking to the clerk on OB about her case with more enthusiasm than she has.

The difference a day makes.

Okay, so I'm a bad clerk right now. I should probably be in clinic right now, but here I am, blogging (well, I am also reading up on kidney cancer). I find this rotation very bi-polar. Tuesday sucked ass, and I was so dejected. Then, yesterday, a great day in clinic. I think this is the prime example of how a clinician makes or breaks the experience. I suppose it also shows me that some people run clinic differently - some don't want you there and don't acknowledge your existence, and others are more than happy to show you everything. I think I learn better in the latter format.

Another interesting aspect of Urology is the very different team dynamic - in short, there is virtually none. Even though we are a "team" because we're the students associated with the urology department, it's still very much every person for him or herself. Everyone is desperately trying to impress consultants, make it into the OR, or get into the residency program, leaving me feeling a) out of place, b) dumb as a post, and c) getting all the shit jobs like being in the clinic no one else wants to take.

I absolutely do not want to be a urologist.